Finding Motivation

Although I feel like I've got a pretty good handle on what food my body works best on, I am always struggling for the right motivation.  Is it to be skinny, look hot, be strong, have more energy, etc?  I go back to my Core Desired Feelings from Danielle Laporte.  My five are to feel clear, connected, strong, supported, free and energized.  This is true and it is fairly motivating.  But when faced with a red velvet cookie from Safeway, telling myself that I want to feel clear, connected, strong, supported, free and energized does not keep the cookie from my mouth.  I think you need to have that one thing- that image, that word, that motivational thought- ready for those emergency moments.  For some people it's the thought of their children or spouse, or a disease that they have that they are fighting.  I'm still working on mine, but right now what's working quite nicely is that I want to be a role model.  I want to live the life I talk about.  I don't want to talk about how awesome paleo/primal is for you while buttering up a thick slice of bread.  I want to be an example of healthy eating, healthy living, healthy and playful exercise.  I want to show others that it doesn't have to be that hard.  

The cool thing is, it actually seems to do it for me, at least for now.  When offered a delicious, home-baked brownie in the office, I momentarily had a flash of wanting to be a role model for this woman.  And I said no.  Easily and without guilt.  I want to walk the walk for this woman who I have conversed so often with about our ideas of healthy food.  I'm not sure if this will work forever, but it seems strong to me.  It speaks of serving others.  It feels like a better reason than having a flat stomach.

What about you?  Do you have something you remind yourself or (or try to) before deciding to take that bite of delicious processed junk?  Comment below!

This quote below is the "Comment of the Day" on a Marks Daily Apple blog.  Freaking hilarious.  And helpful.

"Imagine you’re at a friend’s house enjoying a piece of homemade cake. It’s absolutely delicious, the best you’ve ever eaten. You ask the friend for the recipe. The friend lists the ingredients: flour, sugar, butter, eggs. Then the friend adds, “Oh yeah, and pee. I peed in the cake batter before baking the cake.” You immediately put down your fork. Just a moment ago it was the tastiest cake you ever ate. Now you don’t want to take another bite. The next time your friend serves cake you don’t take any. Even if everyone around you is eating the cake and saying how great it tastes you don’t need any special will power to avoid it. You simply don’t want it because you know what’s in it.

The next time you pick up a package of some highly processed food, look at the ingredient list. It’s pee cake. Just walk away.

 Read more: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/weekend-link-love-244/#ixzz2UoKI1M7s"

Update with Being Primal

Earlier this month I decided that I wanted to try Mark Sisson's Primal BluePrint. Paleo is just a guideline for what food is good for you and what foods to avoid. I love it and feel totally healthy, but feel like I am ready to graduate to a full body version of the concept. I have always been a fan of Mark's website, marksdailyapple.com. I read all of his blog posts. So I'm completely bought in to the theory of Primal Blueprint. I think it is an amazing way to look at health, nutrition, exercise, sleep, basically everything that can keep a person healthy and happy. The thing that really draws me to the PB is that it really speaks to my lazy, fun side. The side that doesn't want to exercise like a maniac and restrict what food I am "allowed" to eat. The part of me that knows that counting calories is stupid and short-term. (I'm not saying it doesn't work or that that hasn't helped some people. But don't you just know there's a better way?) So if you go to his website and look at the Definitive Guide to the Primal Blueprint, you'll see the basics.
1. Eat lots of animals, insects and plants- this is my favorite way to look at nutrition. Eat Real Food.
2. Move around a lot at a slow pace- walk around, use the stairs, take a stroll, walk your dog, do this every day.
3. Lift Heavy Things- the Primal Blueprint version of lifting weights, or doing body weight exercises. Mark has a great simple guide to exercises you can do with little to no equipment with modifications for all fitness levels. Super simple.
4. Run really fast every once in a while- this one has blown my mind! I always thought that I had to do cardio 3-5 times a week! And truthfully, when I wasn't eating paleo or primal I did have to run 3-5 times a week to maintain a healthy weight. Now that my eating has vastly improved (not the quantity, but the quality) my need to seek out the nearest treadmill is gone. Some sprints (running or biking or stairs) will suffice once or twice a week.
5. Get lots of sleep- The research is out there folks. You have to find the right amount of sleep for you. Some people need a lot of sleep, some people need less. But if your health is out of wack and you're convinced that you only need 3-5 hours of sleep a night, you may want to re-evaluate. Our body does so much restoration and healing while we sleep. It is the time that all of the damage you did to it all day finally has a chance to start being internally repaired. If you don't give your body the time it needs, you will never fully heal.
6. Play- Favorite Rule Ever! And who would believe that we would need someone to tell us to go have fun! But it's true, we spend so much time scheduling in "exercise" that moving around becomes such a drag, such a chore. Thankfully I have friends who are interested in play! Our hikes are never a simple walk in the woods, there is always socializing, laughter, and great use of imagination. We've played all kinds of sports together, from tennis to swimming to paddling to (hopefully soon!) racquetball. Don't argue with this! You need fun in your life!
7. Get some sunlight every day- This one is a bit counter intuitive to "modern science" in quotations because I think modern scientists have been led way off track with their research. I usually use Dr. Mercola as a reference first, since he doesn't seem to be biased by big businesses, the media or pharm companies. Anyway, sunlight has a lot of valuable properties. I think everyone has heard about Seasonal Affective Disorder at this point and some of that has to do with the lack of available sunlight. Just in case you don't actually go read the articles or resources, no one is advocating for getting out there and getting a sun burn. If you've gotten that red, you've had too much sun. But some sun is good. That golden tan from being in the (real) sun for a little bit every day is actually good for you.
  8. Avoid Trauma- this one is pretty common sense, but important. Don't dive into shallow water. Be aware of your surroundings. Don't exercise beyond what your body can handle. (Know the difference between good sore and hurt.)
9. Avoid Poisonous Things- This is the one I have most trouble with. Everyone's body is different and what we tolerate to what level is different. I hope you take the time to really figure out how well your body is tolerating grains, dairy, legumes, sugar and vegetable oils. Mine doesn't handle grains well at all (except for rice, that seems to be fine). I break out with acne with legumes, sugar and vegetable oils. When I eat anything with grains or sugary I also balloon up with both excess weight and bloating. I get gassy to the point that my stomach is painful and I have to wear loose pants that don't make the pain worse. Even though I know this, it has been difficult for me to say no to this stuff. First, because I used to love it and finding food to replace the emotional connection I have for those foods is tough. (Eating chips after a hard day at work, or ice cream for "treat.") Second, people tend to want you to eat these foods. I found that once I began to eliminate them from my diet totally, people began to push them on me like drug dealers. I am lucky that my husband and my closest friends don't do this. My husband still keeps them around the house, but won't try to tempt me with those foods anymore. Other people are a different story. I am tempted to tell everyone that I am diabetic or have Celiac Disease, but fuck that. I should be able to tell you, no, I don't eat wheat or sugar or whatever, and you should say, okay. It's okay to ask me why. But what irks me is when I tell people this and then they make an attempt to sell the food to me somehow. "But, it's so good!" "But this whole wheat is good for you!" "Come on, just have a bite!" It would be funny to see how badly people want you to eat these foods, if I wasn't already having a hard time saying no. Yes, I do want that cream filled donut, but it will make me gassy and bloated and therefore I am choosing not to eat it. Hard to fend people off when that donut is being waved under your nose. Anyway, like I said, here's where I have the most difficulty.
10. Use your mind- Good advice. I try to do this daily as some form of reading of a book or blog or word game.

If anyone wants to join me in my health quest, write me an email or drop a comment below. I'm not an expert, but I am a super cheerleader.

Treats in Moderation

Super Sweet!

Amazingly enough, I just had to go back and look to see how long it's been since the Paleo challenge ended.  Since May 15, I've been sticking to my Level 7 Paleo with the exception of being able to have 3 treats a week.  I was unsure of how this was going to go.  In my last post I mentioned that I didn't really feel like having any treats.  It's true.  The results I get from eating Paleo / primal style are insanely worthwhile.  I lost 20 pounds eating tons of good food.  I only workout twice a week most weeks.  Granted, Crossfit workouts are pretty intense, but talk about a sustainable lifestyle.  So do I really want to eat bread?  And then try to "run off all the excess calories?"  Do I really want to eat sugar?  The truth is, when I think for a second instead of just grabbing for something to eat, I really don't want or need it.  I had some dried pineapple the other day that I could have sworn had added sugar on it.  I triple checked the ingredients, it was from Whole Foods, who kindly make all of their ingredients very visible and public.  The truth was, I just have gotten used to the natural sweetness of fruit and the pineapple was very, very sweet on it's own.  (Brilliant aside, if there is ever a need for sweetening something like paleo bread or muffins or adding sweetness to a barbecue sauce, those dried pineapples are an amazing substitution, just chop into small pieces.)  I know there are people who will read this and shake their heads in sadness, because I am now "missing out" on some of the pleasures in life.  I used to be one of those people.  Amazingly, I have changed my palette to the point that some of the most simple fruits, meats, vegetables, and spices are those pleasures in life.  I get to eat amazing food all the time.  I don't have to save up my calories so that I can have a slice of cheesecake after dinner and then feel guilty about it or feel like I have to accomodate for it somehow.  I can just eat good food all day long.  Whole Foods moving in down the road has also given me a wide variety of dried fruit that doesn't have sugar added to it.  Pears, apples, pineapples, bananas, raisins, figs, dates, and my all time favorite Mexican Mango.  I could eat that all day long. (And even if I did, I wouldn't feel bad about it.)

Yum!!!

I'm not saying that I don't have to put any effort into staying thin and in shape.  That is what the media and "the man" would tell you is your ultimate goal.  Buy this, then you don't put in any effort!  It's easy!  Not true.  It's just that I enjoy the effort now.  I have figured out some way to cut corners to make paleo simpler, with less steps to cook stuff.  I have ADHD and need things to be simple, few ingredients and with little planning involved.  I need to have several standby recipes and stuff that I can go to when I have forgotten to pull something out of the freezer.  It takes getting used to, but there are items that I always get when I'm at the grocery store.  That way, I always have a backup plan.  For example, pureed pumpkin and coconut milk.  Two items you can buy canned, that last forever.  You can combine them when you're in a jam, with whatever other ingredients you happen to have in your fridge, maybe add a little curry powder or paste and wham!  Delicious soup!  I also always have eggs.  No matter what, I can always make eggs.  And you can do so many things with them that I never get bored.  One of the other items I always have is a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store.  Now, I know strict paleo/organic folks will tell me that there is most likely sugar somewhere in there and it is probably not pasture raised.  I know this.  In my life right now, this works and I feel healthy.  I have started a recipe book that will share some of my easy shortcuts.  I hope it is something that will encourage people who are interested in trying out paleo/primal, but are concerned about costs and the ability to cook.  Anyone who knows me well knows that if there is a shortcut that will make my life easier, but will not noticeably decrease the ultimate goal, then I will find it.  And I've found a lot of paleo shortcuts.

Treating Myself

Actually the point of this post was going to be that last week I did treat myself.  I thought about it all day, what treat was I going to buy?  I planned and thought about it and then when I was at the grocery store I wandered around all the aisles looking for a "treat."  I ended up buying a bottle of wine and a fage 2% yogurt with the honey thing on the side.  And then I enjoyed the hell out of it.  I slowly ate the yogurt and honey and licked off every drop that was left in the container.  Then I had a glass of wine.  It was pretty darn good.  And my stomach hurt in the morning.  Go figure.  Anyway, since then, I had some wine with a good friend, which is always worth it, really.  My stomach, again, felt nasty in the morning, but that was okay.  At the store today I bought some heavy organic half and half.  I plan to make it last.  I love my coffee black, but there's something about that half and half that turns it into something delightful.  I just have to remember to only add a little bit so my stomach doesn't have problems during the work day.  To bring it back to the point I was making in the beginning is that it makes me really savor some things I was taking for granted.  I don't have to eat this way, I choose to eat this way.  I choose to evaluate what goes into my body, the same way I would never put anything other than gas in my car.  I don't do the super expensive gas, but I certainly wouldn't ever put diesel fuel or apple juice in my Civic.  Same with me.  My beef is not always grass-fed, but it's never made by McDonald's anymore.

30 Day Challenge for Realz

Popping Poppers

Photo Shoot

I had an awesome Christmas this year, Anna and I skyped with multiple family members and got some crazy awesome gifts.  Then did a lot of relaxing over the winter break.  Saturday was New Years Eve, in case you didn't know, and that was so much fun!  We hiked 2 of the 3 peaks of Olomana, did some photography shoots and tarot card readings on the peak.  Had Teddy's Bigger Burgers for our meal after and then headed home to get all dressed up to hang out.  We headed to Joanna's where Keysa is house sitting and did lots of drinking and more photography.  Nathan set off some poppers and entertained the 5 ladies hanging out.  The doggies stayed outside and barked at fireworks going off in the distance.  They were just the right amount of drugged so they didn't go totally crazy.  I felt kind of bad, but it's better than how scared they get otherwise.  Nathan and I dropped off Anna and Ananda downtown, then picked them back up 3 hours later.  All in all it was a great end to the year.
Yesterday I woke up pretty tired and cranky and Nathan and I were snippy at each other.  Then I took a nap and felt better. But we also started our paleo whole30 challenge yesterday for real.  It's not too different for me.  Luckily I have practice not having toast when Nathan has toast and can avoid the chocolate in the fridge.  Anna does not have such practice under her belt.  I feel pretty good, although I am still pretty bloated from my December shenanigans.

Lovely Ladies

So far so good in 2012!  The plan for today is to hike Kaena Point!  Will put up some pics if we go!

Back to Work

This week I haven't felt too much like blogging.  I had a great week last week and an awesome weekend and then Monday it was back to work.  Bleh.  I love seeing the kids and the people I work with are a lot of fun, but there is just so much about the job that I'm not a fan of.  Anything paperwork or planning or data collection related and my eyes just roll to the back of my head.  It's not too hard, it's not over my head, it's just boring.  Some people love data.  I want to cock punch those people.  Not really, I'm not mean.  But I am absolutely positive that when I have my private practice I am going to hire someone to do some of that stuff.  I will have a secretary adm. assistant someday.  The thought gets me through a lot of days.  That person will organize my files, take down dictation, and maybe do some of my scheduling.  I will meet with clients and do the thinking.
Other than work I went to Tae Kwon Do on Tuesday and tonight.  I felt myself not wanting to be there.  I can just tell that I'm ready for some changes.  The job is not going to change right away, but the exercise is.  I signed the paperwork to cancel my YMCA membership tonight.  It will now expire on the 14th, I will have to be responsible for my own exercising until the New Year and then I am joining Crossfit Kailua.  TKD was awesome for 6 months.  I might go back to it, it will be the same curriculum, but I need a change.  I hate it when exercise feels like a chore, because I know it doesn't have to.  I know that when I am doing the right sport/exercises I wake up looking forward to my workout for the day.  I look forward to learning better technique and working myself to the point of exhaustion.  TKD is not feeling like that for me right now.  I am trying to get over the feeling of guilt I have for switching again, but just because other people stick to an exercise forever doesn't mean that's what I am supposed to do.  If I died next week I'd be pissed that I didn't follow my intuition and switch to something more meaningful.  So here I go, changing it up.
On another note, today is December 1st.  It's time for me to declare my Pre-New Year's Resolution.  I always have a health/fitness goal, but this year I want to add on a spiritual one.  Here goes:
Health and fitness:  From now until New Year's I will eat my own version of modified paleo.  Which is basically paleo without being an asshole and also eating cheese and yogurt.  I am not going to set a weight loss goal, I just want my pants to fit better and to feel less bloated as the New Year rolls in.
Spiritual:  This next year I really want to pay more attention to my intuition.  I'm not going to explain why right now, let's just say I've done a lot of research and I think it's important.  So to prepare for the New Year, my Pre-New Year Resolution will be that every day until the New Year I am going to journal for at least 5 minutes every day.  Nothing special or spectacular, just my thoughts.  If things go right I will be waking up early and journaling before I start my day, but even a few quick lines before I fall asleep would suffice.  I am going to go buy a nice book tomorrow to write in.  Yes, I have composition books that I could use, but I feel like this is something more special.  I've been listening to Deepak Chopra recently and he's got me excited about spirituality.  Go figure.
So those are my resolutions and plans for the New Year, what are yours?  Feel free to leave me some answers in the comment section!

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane!

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
- John Denver



So, I'm headed to the East Coast tonight! My plane leaves at 7:25 my time and arrives at 10am your time. I'm going to do my best to sleep on the plane so I'm not exhausted when I get there. I've got lots of plans and I'm going to do my best not to get sick, lose my voice, get really bad headaches or cramps. I'm not sure how my hair is going to deal with the cold, dry weather, but it should be interesting to say the least. I'm excited for pedicures, dresses, makeup and dancing. I've been listening to my Miss Saigon CD to prepare for the trip. It's being imported to my Ipod as we speak. I think I've got everything packed that I need, and still am only taking a carry-on bag. Pretty awesome. I'm a simple person. Plus if I really need to I'll buy a pair of jeans or something. We all know you can wear jeans every day for 2 weeks, no problem.

In the meantime I'm doing my best not to gain 20 pounds. The bread from that damn store smells soooo good. I hate delicious bread bakers. They make me fat. Damn their soft, yeasty dough and their blueberry and white chocolate chip pieces. And damn them for baking it just the way I like it, just slightly under cooked at the corners, so you get that little bite of chewy goodness at the end. Le sigh. Life is so hard. Honestly, I'm most worried about my stomach on the plane. My body is not used to this level of white flour and my stomach has been, well, ah hem. Not good. Need to find a snack that I can bring with me and try to avoid being triple bloated when I board.

Love all you East Coasters, hopefully I'll get a chance to see you in a few days!!

Stress Eating

For some reason what I ate today for lunch made me feel really bloated around 5pm.  My stomach started to hurt, I could feel it pushing against my pants and it didn't feel better when I changed into stretchy pants upon reaching home.  I felt gassy.  Not sure what I ate that did that.  I didn't change my diet very much at all.  Then I got home and Nathan was mad at me for something, cause I was a bit of an idiot.  I lost a little control and had some potatoes with butter and a little of the brussel sprouts that I made for Nathan.  The only thing wrong with the sprouts was the processed butter sauce that it comes packaged with.  I made a delicious pork roast in the oven rubbed with salt and garlic powder.  So I ate two slices of that.  Then I still felt like I needed more and had some 90% cacao.  Oh boy.  Not horrible decisions, it's just that I could tell, I knew it was directly related to how I was feeling, not about being hungry.  In fact I felt the opposite of hungry when I came home.  Oh well.  I definitely feel like I need exercise that is more intense than my Tae Kwon Do.  I'm really sad about that.  I love the sport, but I think the dojang I'm at isn't competitive enough and doesn't workout hard enough.  I leave feeling tired... but only a little.  Just going to enjoy the rest of my wait until my vacay, do a shit-ton of work at work and get the house ready for Nathan's mom.  She's coming on November 3.  Hope you all ate better than I did and had a more intense workout than I did.  G'night!

The Truth

The Devil

I will not lie to you readers, on Saturday night I was completely unable to have just one glass of wine.  If you're trying not to drink, don't volunteer at a community event as a wine pourer.  Don't get me wrong, it was a blast.  Our costumes rocked and there was some really tasty food.  I did my best to stick to the meats, but I know that the sauces were full of everything that makes me bloated.  I'm sure there was sugar in there.  That's why I couldn't stop.  I kept going back for more- not for the turkey with no sauce, but for the meatballs and mushrooms drenched in some kind of manufactured bliss.  It was really difficult to stay away from it.  I did try some of the cheeses, I thought they would be higher quality, but they weren't.  So long story short, a good time was had, wine was drunk, meatballs were gorged upon and then I barfed all over my shower because I was too drunk to aim for the toilet.  Poor Nathan probably had a good reason to divorce me that night, it was really not pretty.
The good news:  eating healthy reduces the hangover effect.  I'm sure of it.  Normally my Sunday would have been nothing but groaning and wishing I could fall back asleep.  I wouldn't have moved from couch if I could have gotten myself there.  Not this time.  I woke up at 6:15am, cleaned out the showers- yes showers, I puked in both of them, did some dishes, caught up on this season of Fringe, and then sewed myself a dress.  I walked the dogs a few times.  I could see how the bad eating on Saturday night wanted to suck me back into the horrible cycle of empty carbs.  I woke up, considered what to eat and had a fried banana and eggs.  Doesn't sound delicious, but it was.  A cup of black coffee and some water did me for a few hours.  Then I took a quick nap and Nathan ordered a pizza and wings while I was down.  I had some of the thin crust pizza and then I had more... and I realized what was happening.  I was being sucked into the vortex of a bad eating frenzy.  Even after recognizing it I still had another piece of pizza later that evening and a few tastes of Nathan's Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  But, I didn't shame myself or beat myself over the head with guilt.  Instead I threw down some paleo-friendly snacks and food in between.  I had purple grapes, almonds, raisins and walnuts in no particular order.  For dinner I ate a huge steak and nothing else.  After I tasted Nathan's ice cream I had a bite of my 90% cacao bar and that satisfied the buds.
Like I said, this challenge is about really exploring how to make this a lifestyle change.  I don't think I was 100% effective this weekend, but I can use this as a learning experience.  Next time I am faced with a pizza I'm thinking I should take a piece and bring over a whole bunch of healthy snack to eat with it.  I know it sounds like I ate a whole bunch this weekend, and I did, but it could have been (and has been previously) much worse.  I was able to slow the demons and then halt them after a while.  Good business.  This morning I woke up feeling pretty great, walked the doggies and had eggs with ochra of all things.  (It was on sale at Safeway and is actually really good.)
This week I'm going to be pretty strict, especially as I get closer to heading home.  I want to be at my best.  I'm already feeling and looking really good.  Peace y'all.

Day 11 of Challenge

Well, the magical quality of my challenge is long past.  The first couple of days there is usually that psyched up feeling of yeah, I'm doing something awesome!  Then there's the next couple of days where your body changes if your challenge involves any big difference in health or diet.  Then the plateau comes.  I have hit that point.  The other day I couldn't help myself and had a taste of this cake from Costco.  That was the only time I've broken form in the past 11 days.  Otherwise, I've been doing really great.  Now it's just same old, same old.  The magic is gone.  At least I don't have dreams about eating cake or cookies or milk like I used to back in January.  That was rough!  Anyone who did the original Whole 30 challenge with me in January can attest to how horrible those dreams are.  The guilt!  I don't have that anymore.  I know that if I eat something like that my life will not end.
This latest challenge, I have discovered over the last few days, is not actually about eating 100% paleo or strict anything.  It is a way for me to learn how to eat healthy and remain that way at a stable pace.  This past year I have gone from strict paleo and skinny to alcoholic binge cake eater and 140, and up and down, and up and down... and now I'm trying to even it out.  I want to learn how to eat awesome and not be an asshole.  That means that sometimes your office will have something like Boss' Day, spend a lot of money on a cake, and be offended if you don't eat some.  Usually that would result in me being an asshole and refusing any, or having a small piece, and then a bigger piece, and then a BIGGER piece and then go home and drink and snack because, what the hell, I ate bad all day anyway, didn't I?  On Monday I had a small piece of cake.  It stared at me for the rest of the day because we had a meeting in the room with the cake.  Then I had another small taste, and then... I stopped.  I went home and ate some almonds and raisins.  I made my planned steak and salad dinner.  I didn't raid the fridge for dessert, although I have some 86% chocolate in the freezer for those times that I'm feeling a little desperate.  I have maintained and I think that lesson is even more important for me this time around then losing a lot of weight because I'm eating better.  I don't want to be the yo-yo dieter.  I want to always eat awesome.  But I want to be able to have a gin and tonic or a glass of wine.  Can I have both?  I think it's probably possible.
The other thing I've noticed over the course of this challenge is that, unfortunately, it's looking like Tae Kwon Do is not enough exercise for me.  Last night I had what used to be an intense workout for me and today I'm not tired or even slightly sore.  I'm no masochist, I don't enjoy the pain post-workout, but let's be honest, I don't want to be semi-in shape.  I want to be really in shape.  I'm thinking that I am going to test for my orange belt in November, maybe test for my green belt in January.  By that time I'll definitely be done.  I might not even continue after my orange belt.  I may switch to cross fit.  I don't really want to be that guy that changes sports like they change their underwear, but the truth is I need to find the right sport that meets my standards.  It needs to be a hard, challenging workout.  It needs to keep me entertained (nothing really repetitive or boring).  I need to have some friends with me.  And I need someone (a coach) to tell me what to do.  So far I haven't found any sport that has met those standards.  I would love it if my friends wanted to do volleyball or Tae Kwon Do, or Kickboxing, but they don't.  I love Tae Kwon Do in general, but it's often not challenging enough for me and they don't compete.  Which is good, cause I don't want to get punched in the head, but at the same time, I need something to push me forward.

Crossfit and Paleo

I'm feeeling pretty freaking good this morning.  I've been going strong paleo for a full seven days and I'm past the initial "this is hard" whiny faze.  It's not really hard.  It's delicious.  My fridge and freezer are also better stocked, so I have something to shove in my face when my husband is eating vanilla ice cream.  I weighed in at 134 this morning.  Anybody who tries to count calories or tries to starve themselves to lose weight should really try this way of eating.  I am never hungry.  I have tons of energy.  And I don't feel guilty for eating too much steak and broccoli.  So that's my healthy eating challenge plan.
Yesterday morning I also tried Crossfit in Kailua.  It was an intro class and I'm sure it was only a taste of the craziness that Crossfit entails, and we were using the lightest weights, but I have a good soreness in the body.  Not too horrible, I can just tell which muscles I used yesterday more than others.
This morning Nathan and I walked the beach with the dogs, not too far, and Jak and I are going to hike Nuuanu Judd trail in 45 minutes.  Then off to Savers to buy a Halloween costume.
All in all I'm feeling pretty good.  I'll have to take another picture in the same outfit that's on the site.  My belly looks more tight already.  Eating grains and beans just makes me bloated, so when I knock them out of my diet, my stomach tightens up pretty fast.  That's worth it, even if I didn't lose any weight.
Hope everyone else is sticking to their 30 day challenge!  Myia has challenged herself not to eat any fast food, including french fries!  That's hard, but she's gonna do it and when the challenge is over she's gonna make another change towards a healthier diet.  Arin's been running like crazy and I can't wait to see her!  So stop being a pussy and do something for 30 days to make yourself healthier!  We can do it, so can you!

I am Freaking Awesome

From picturesof.net

I got home from work yesterday and I was so exhausted that all I wanted to do was take a nap.  I still made a burger and fries for Nathan and a burger- no bun with pickle and onions for myself.  I opted not to go to Tae Kwon Do.  I hate doing that.  It's only twice a week, but I was really, really tired.  I watched TV, snacked on some sunflower seeds and dried prunes (seriously, don't knock it til you've tried it), drank a lot of water and went to bed early.  This morning I slept in a little later than normal and took my time getting ready for the day.  I took a few sick hours so I can pull myself together and be ready for the three back to back meetings I have in a little bit.  What a good idea.  I'm a genius.  I had my cup of coffee and my eggs with sausage and now I'm feeling really good.  I could have done what most people do- suck it up and go to TKD and go to work on time instead of taking care of themselves.  I could have gone to TKD and been really off.  I could have gone to work on time, but I wouldn't have felt like talking to anybody or been able to concentrate on paperwork.  I was really tired.  But now I'm getting ready to go and I'm feeling energized.  The people that I meet with later are going to get way more energy, motivation and effective feedback from me because I took a little time for myself.  Our world is a little backwards when it comes to the job force.  We are encouraged to watch the clock, punch in and out at exact times, we are not given reinforcement for doing a good job.  I certainly don't get any incentives for any of the awesome stuff I do.  I've decided over the past year that it's my life and I am going to steer it in the direction I want it to go.  If for some ungodly reason I got let go for taking sick hours for self-care instead of being vomitous or snotty, then they will just be kicking themselves in the asses again anyway.  Cause I do a good job.  And when I take care of myself, I do a better job.  Anyway, just another aspect of health that sometimes we forget about.  Exercise is important.  Eating healthy is important.  Taking care of yourself mentally is also very, very important.
Oh, and I lost another pound, even though I didn't go to my hard core exercise class last night.

Da Da Duh! It has begun!

From laxcrossfit.com

Hello all, today begins my 30 day paleo/primal challenge.  I did one serious paleo challenge in January and I never felt better.  I hesitate to call it a "diet" although that technically is what it is.  However, it is simply a direction for you to turn to eat healthy.  There are no gimmicks involved like, drink this or take that and you'll drop weight.  You don't count calories, you don't starve yourself.  You don't over eat one food type.  It is a kind of healthy eating that for the most part makes complete and total common sense.  Main goal of paleo- eat lots of veggies, meats, nuts and fruits.  Don't eat processed food or sugar.  The part that is hard for people is the dairy, the legumes, the grains and the soy.  Well, and alcohol, but as much as we all love alcohol, it does make complete and total sense that not drinking will help you lose weight.  I think for me, this healthy way of eating rocks because: I love meat, I love vegetables, I love nuts, I love fruit.  I love cooking for myself, so the processed thing isn't hard.  Difficult for me: finding condiments with no added sugar.  It is fucking ridiculous what things have added sugar in them.  Like I said, I love cooking, but do I really want to have to make any sauce I add?  NO.  But there are very limited options.  Even bacon, people.  Bacon has sugar.  The grains part of the challenge is the hardest part.  Not because I can't cook without adding grains and that my meals aren't absolutely fantastic without grains, but because I really love bread.  It's the yeasty smell and the texture.  Bread has brought me down again and again this year when I'm not on a strict challenge.  The alcohol and ice cream were hard for me a couple of times, but it truly is the bread.
The breakdown in healthy eating usually goes like this for me: I have a glass of wine/beer/gin and tonic.  I drink too much of it.  I feel like a need a  piece of toast (which my brain is convinced in it's alcohol addled state is the only thing that will make my stomach feel better).  I realize I have eaten what I know to be food that makes me feel bad.  I think to myself, well I'm already going to feel like shit tomorrow, I might as well have some ice cream.  With chocolate syrup on top.  And a cookie.  And a chocolate bar.  Seriously, this is a story I've lived through many times before.  So, I'm going full strict paleo again this month.

This morning for breakfast I had 3 eggs with some coconut cream and salsa.  Delicious.  I have been drinking my coffee black since January and surprisingly, I love it that way.  Later today I'm gonna have some london broil stir fried with veggies, no need for rice or noodles.  I have almonds, baby carrots and pickled cucumbers on hand for snacking.  I am not sure what lunch will be yet, but it will either be tuna or roast beef from the deli.  I love adding salsa, coconut milk, coconut cream or eggs to everything.

The best part about this diet for me?  It truly feels like how I am meant to eat.  I feel like I am feeding myself well.  I don't feel hungry often and when I do, I just eat.  There will be times that I am busy at work and I don't get a chance to sit down for lunch and I work straight through without snacks or anything.  And I don't get that sick, low blood sugar feeling.  At some point I just start feeling hungry and I'm like, oh yeah, I should eat and I do.  I don't feel like I am starving or over full.  I don't feel deprived of all of those things that are off the list.  When you read the research- and I'll link to a few sites at the bottom where you can- it makes me feel like I'm treating my body with respect and fueling up for whatever crazy adventure is in store for me in the future.

Feel free to join me, you don't have to go paleo, although I do highly recommend it.  But there are people who do really well eating rice and gluten-free or eating oatmeal and soy.  If you are that type of person and want to join me doing a 30 day challenge of whatever healthy eating means for you, do it!  Comment here!

Links for paleo/primal that I love:
Mark Sisson- marksdailyapple.com
Robb Wolf- robbwolf.com
The Whole30, Version 4.0- http://whole9life.com/2011/06/whole-30-v4/

If I forgot any, please comment and leave the sites below.






Yikes! I posted this and realized that I'm totally going to have to do before and after pictures.  Maybe just of my belly.  I'll put the pics up later.

Whoopsie!

Just a totally unrelated picture of my dogs, Titus and Gizmo

I ate so awesome yesterday!  I ran with the dogs, snacked on baby carrots and almonds, had meatballs for lunch!  Then came dinner.  Well, really it wasn't so bad.  Dinner itself was steak and an endive barbecued on the grill with parmesian cheese on top.  Quite delicious and filling.  We threw a few banana peppers on the grill as well, just to see what would happen.  It was quite good!  Nathan came home with some fruit to cut up for a fruit salad and I threw a bunch in a glass with some strawberry rum.  And here's where things went downhill a bit.  The darn alcohol made me feel like I really wanted some ice cream and a cookie.  With fudge on top.  Oh well.  After eating that I decided to go to bed rather than raid the fridge for something else.  I'm still doing really well, I don't think I've lost any weight, but I'm swinging the pendulum back to healthy lifestyle.  It's amazing to see how far to the other side I had swung.  Exercising a little bit every day, and eating much better.  I've been through this before.  I have to wait for my body to get used to this then step it up a notch.  Then the body weight starts to drop a bit and I'll do my best to continue eating healthy.  I am starting a 30 day challenge tomorrow because today I have 31 days until the plane leaves for the East Coast.  If anyone's actually reading this, some support and encouragement would be very welcome.  I have been having a hard time keeping myself on track.  It's easier when you're able to be held accountable.  If anything, just drop a note and tell me if you're going to check in or not, then I'll be embarrassed if I say I'm going for it and don't.
I am getting super duper excited about my trip East!  I have a month to be sure that my work is covered and my doggies are well taken care of while I'm gone.  Nathan's mother is coming out here on the 3rd of November, so I'll see her for a few days before I leave.  At least he'll have someone out here with him.

Primal Challenge

So far I've had a crazy year health wise.  I started off 2011 with an awesome Paleo Challenge.  It was an excellent experiment to see what foods are healthiest for me.  I was the most fit I've ever been.  After the challenge I slowly started adding back more and more junk.  It wasn't on purpose, it's just happened over time.   Then, the past two months several of my friends had a lot going on and subsequently I drank a lot of wine, and ate a ton of food that I know makes me feel like shit and makes me gain weight.  I did have a hell of a time though, so there's no regrets.  My current belly is a tribute to the great friend I was being.  Now I must face the fact that, for my own sanity, I cannot continue that lifestyle.  It is not only annoying not to be able to fit into some of my clothing, but I feel my emotions begin to rollercoaster again.  I am pretty comfortable in my body, I was 175 a few years ago, and that was okay, I was 120 earlier this year, that was cool too.  At 140, I know I'm a hot piece of ass, but I am not my healthiest.  The month of October for me is going to be dedicated to getting back in shape and eating better.  I think that means paleo.  I know I've said I'm going to start eating better several times in the past few months, but this time I definitely mean it.  I want to buy a dress for Arin's wedding, and I would like to be able to wear all of the clothes that Anna has packed for me for the visit to the East Coast.  There are so many reasons to eat healthier and workout one more day a week than I currently am.  As I sit here I am mentally memorizing what my gut feels like after eating horribly last night and drinking several guinness, so when the time comes to make a choice, I will remember it and go for the food that is going to make me feel less bloated.  After I post this I'm going to see if there's a way to put a countdown on the blog.  I need a visual reminder of how many days I have left until my Journey to the East.  As of today I have 5 weeks. That's 35 days for those of you who can't do simple math.  To my loyal followers:  Any other places I can stick a countdown that you know of?  There must be an android phone app or perhaps a facebook or google calendar application?  Ideas?

Sidenote: I do love the way life throws fabulous little seeming coincidences at you all the time.  I was just thinking that I would like to add a picture to the blog to brighten it up, picked up my phone because I thought it made a noise (which it didn't), noticed my Tarot card of the day was The Fool!  It's brilliant because The Fool represents new adventures.  I quote from the app "the journey begins fresh, innocent, and full of potential."  Quite an apt card for today.

Emotional Eating

So this topic is not a new one.  Emotional eating.  How does it always sneak up and bite you in the ass right when you think you've got things under control?  It so easily hides itself under the guise of a delicious "cheat" from your usual healthy eating pattern and then oozes into a weekend binge of cookies, bread and beer.  I swear I was eating paleo 4 days ago.  Doing great.  Paleo, really briefly, is eating nuts, fruits, vegetables and meats.  No dairy, added sugar (or HFCS), grains, alcohol, soy, or beans (legumes).  This sounds strict, but is extremely satisfying and delicious.  I love to eat this way because I don't have energy highs and low crashes, I feel full and satisfied all day long, my skin looks better, and my workouts are stronger.  This is an aside, though, back to emotional eating.  Basically, I was eating really healthy a few days ago.  Then I wanted a beer.  I'm a lady who doesn't restrict herself for the sake of restriction.  My whole point of eating healthy is to be healthy.  So when a strong urge kicks in, I indulge.  I believe that you should eat healthy most of the time, but then when you really want that fudge brownie or Guinness, well, by all means, enjoy it.  Don't just enjoy it, savor it.  So I bought some beer.  But, oh, one beer is never enough.  One beer became beer and cookies.  Which became beer, cookies, and 2 more beers.  And then I felt awful the next day.  Welcome, emotional eating.  I think this is why sugar is so addictive.  You enjoy a beer or large portion of cake or cookies, or whatever and then feel like crap the next day for various reasons.  The actual physical effect is pretty strong for me, but there's also the guilt.  Oh, I fell off the wagon again.  I ate too much last night, I was doing so good!  And so on and so forth.  Which for some reason invariably leads to finishing off the six pack the next night.  Because you're not feeling good.  And you want to feel better.  And beer makes you feel better!  And so does chocolate ice cream!  And then the next day you feel like crap, and round and round we go.  Oy vey.  Can't a girl just enjoy a beer? 
Well, I am eating healthy again today and enduring all of the physical setbacks that come with eating crap for 4 days, the bloated belly, the gas (holy moly!) and the headache today when I didn't scarf down any carbs for breakfast.  At least I know now that these side effects are short-term.  I know that by tomorrow's evening workout I will begin to feel healthy again. 
A few things I am going to do to get myself back on track:
I am going to start up my food journal again, I find that when I start to go on a bender, it helps steer me back.  I'm not going to get a new one, I'm just going to pull out the old notebook that I used last time.  I am not going to use it to count calories though, I'm going to document what the feelings and thoughts are that are driving me to want to drink beer and eat high carb stuff. 
I am paying to start TKD officially tomorrow.  That should get me a book and then I can have a fitness goal to work towards.  I am going to work to test for the next belt as soon as I'm ready for it. 
I am going to plan my meals better this paycheck period than I did last time.  Last week was the end of the month and because I hadn't planned out my meals very well, it gave me an easy excuse to resort to what was already in the fridge.
I weighed myself this morning: 132.  That helps give me a goal to work towards.  With TKD I might be able to get down to a healthy 125.  If I feel like I have lost fat and have gained muscle and don't get below 127, I know that's fine too.  127 seems to be where my body rests these days.  I think 125 would be fun to work towards though, only because that would mean some really vigorous workouts in the next few weeks, and I love a vigorous workout.  Maybe I'll do some Insanity with my friends this week or next. 

Feeling Freaking Great!

Today is day 21 of the Paleo Challenge.  I keep getting compliments from people and they ask me what diet I'm on.  I want to stress to everyone, that weight loss should never be done by dieting.  Dieting is bad for you.  At least the word "diet" as we use it these days.  A diet assumes a short term change in your eating habits to help you lose weight.  The problem with "dieting" is that the dieter plans on going back to eating what they want when they lose the weight.  Just the word brings up thoughts of starvation and unpleasant tasting food.  The very idea of a diet seems to bring along with it a feeling of "I must do this very difficult and unpleasant thing for a little while to get skinny."  I do not ever endorse changing your eating habits short term for a weight loss goal.  You set yourself up for failure- you will gain the weight back when you resume your prior habits, your goal is to get "skinny" instead of healthy, and the emotional rollercoaster takes a toll on you.  I am doing the Paleo Challenge, not because I wanted to eat like a caveman, or because I thought I would lose weight.  I am doing it because when I looked at the lists of foods that you can eat, what is not allowed for the strict 30 days and the reasoning behind it seems sound to me.  If I thought the challenge would have a detrimental effect on my health at all, I would not have taken the challenge.  Even if I would have lost weight.  I take my health much more seriously now than I ever did.  I would rather be healthy and bigger than unhealthy and skinny.  Skinny, it turns out, does not fix any of your problems.  I've been there before, it's the same old me, in smaller clothes.  I do encourage a healthy eating program for weight loss for anyone who is overweight and unhealthy, and for anyone who is too thin and unhealthy.  And for anyone who looks just right, but eats unhealthy.
I plan on keeping many of the rules of the paleo diet even after the 30 days.  I think it's dangerous to change to a healthy eating plan and then changing back to unhealthy.  I want to use this opportunity to listen to my body and find out what it really needs.  Not what all the experts say it needs, but experiment with different foods and find out if it is good for my body or not.  I'm surprised at how good I feel.  I thought I was eating very healthy before, but I was tired much more often and I got headaches more frequently.  Even my monthly cramps don't seem to bad today.  I am curious to find out what it is that I've taken out of my diet that feels so much better.  I'm sure there will be things that I can add back in, but I'm wondering what was making me more sluggish.  Even today, I'm stuffed up because there's a flu-like cold going around the island.  Everybody is dropping out like flies, calling in sick.  I have a runny nose, and that sucks, and I have a bit of a headache, but I actually don't feel all that bad.  I don't feel like I need to run home and lay in bed.  I could feel better, sure, but I think my immune system is busy kicking the bugs ass right now.  I predict a short-term sickness, rather than being down for the count.  I guess we'll see, I'll have to post whether I get real sick or not.  I still haven't decided whether I am going to try to reintroduce dairy or grains first.  I believe legumes/beans will be third and sugar will be the last thing.  I have 9 more days to go before I begin to reintroduce, so there's time to research.

The Dreaded Plateau

I am grateful for the fact that I am still 145 although it means I have lost no weight in quite a while.  It also means that I have not gained any weight, which could be considered a miracle.  I did briefly gain a few pounds when for Lent, Nathan and I gave up sobriety and opened the case of BudLight that someone gave us quite a while ago.  It is absolutely amazing how fast weight can pile on.  Of course beer is a double wammy because I drink a few beers and then not only do I want the chips that are in the cabinet, I want all of them, and my self-control is out the window, so I DO eat all of them.  Luckily this week I made it up with exercise and am back to the same old weight.  That goal of 140 has stayed within my sight, but it takes a step backwards every time I step forwards.  Damn thing is right there, but I just can't get hold.  Of course I was saying this about 145 not too long ago, so I know I can do it.  Since losing weight is about a lifestyle and not about yo-yo dieting, I will be patient.  Nothing is worse than losing weight and then gaining it back again.  It is so crushing to watch your hard work swirl down the toilet.  At least moving at this snail pace I can be sure that it will stay off longer.  Even falling off the exercise and healthy eating wagon several times over the past couple of years the weight has piled on much slower than it used to.  So here's to getting back to fitness.  And here's to tofu and all kinds of crazy food that I have gotten out of the habit of eating.  
I went for a hike this morning, up the pillboxes and followed the path to the end of the Lanikai loop.  Then walked back to the car.  It's a good hike at 5:45am.  Going to kickbox on Monday.  Guess I should think of something to do tomorrow.