Today at both of my schools there was food offered. In terms of local style Hawaiian offerings, it was all amazing looking and probably tasted fantastic. However, most of it was grains or meat in a sugary sauce or breaded and deep fried. I have nothing against other people eating these things. They are pretty tasty. I have decided that I don't want to eat these foods. At one school, it was great. After a few gatherings where I have explained to people what types of food I choose to eat, they get it. They don't try to offer it to me anymore. I feel respected that they don't think I'm weird or a jerk. This is an amazing break through and has taken a lot of time. At the other school where I haven't had the pleasure to be at as many food gatherings, I was offered a plate a bazillion times. And I felt bad for not taking some. Intellectually I know I shouldn't feel bad. It was store bought food. Everyone else who ate put in some money, and I didn't. These people didn't cook the food. And yet, I felt bad. I felt a very strong urge to fill my plate with donuts and pasta and sugary stuff and to sit with it in front of me, just so people would feel like I was appreciative. What is that about? Why is it that I feel bad not eating the food that is there? Why do we feel somehow slighted if we offer somebody food and they don't partake? Why is it rude to refuse food, but not rude to try to guilt somebody into eating something we ALL KNOW is unhealthy for us. Who among us does not know that sugar covered, deep fried pastries are not good for us? Then why is it not rude to continue to try to talk somebody into eating it when they have politely declined it? But it's sooo delicious! How can you deny yourself! I finally lied to everyone. I already ate, and man, I am super full. Yup, didn't realize there was going to be food here, so I ate a whole bunch of my own lunch that I packed myself. Even then, knowing that I was super full and declined the food, there were still attempts to persuade me. And I've been eating this way for so long that I actually didn't want the donut! What if I was trying really hard and had just cut out sugar from my diet? Holy sabotage, Bat Man!
I've found that the best way to combat this is to be prepared. To always have food of some kind that you have packed for yourself. If you can, bring it to the place where all other food is being eaten. People are very uncomfortable when your hands are empty. Oh, you poor thing, you'll starve to death while we enjoy these donuts! But, if you have your own lunch or some kind of food in your hand, you are somehow given reprieve. This relieves some of the pressure. But you have to also be ready to just say no, and allow other people to deal with it how they want. It is not your responsibility to explain your food choices to others. What you eat, is actually, your business. You are allowed to just say, no thankyou, and offer no further explanation. I am getting better at this in life in general, although, obviously today I was guilted into lying instead. But you are not mandated to explain yourself to anyone. I hope that next time you are in a similar situation, and you will be, you will be able to politely decline and stick to it with no other explanation. Sometimes it's nice when they want to hear about how you got to be as hot and svelte as you are. Sometimes you just want to not eat a goddamn donut. And that is okay.
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| Not healthy. Just so you know. Have one if you want. Tell others to fuck off if you don't. |
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