Paleo Plantain Chips for Your Superbowl Party

Martha Stewart's Plantain Chips

The Superbowl is one of the hardest days of the year to stay 100% paleo.  Superbowl snacks are breaded and fried, cheesy, beany dips and chips and crunchies.  Well, have no fear!  I finally found a chip that would stand up to the crunch and saltiness of real potato chips!!  

I made plantain chips yesterday. I wish I had taken the time to look up how to make them a long time ago, since they ended up being so much easier than I thought they would be.  They also ended up being as crunchy as the ones I buy from the store.  The ones from the store are good in a pinch, I get mine from Whole Foods, but they are fried in canola oil.  I don't have any pictures of the chips I made to show you today, because I ate them as they were coming out of the oven to "test their doneness" and then I promptly ate the rest with regular old salsa because I was so excited about how crunchy and yummy they were.  The recipe I tweaked was Martha Stewart's Baked Plantain Chips.  I don't use vegetable oil anymore, so I substituted olive oil in.  My chips actually came out looking a lot like the picture except for the shape.  Some of mine came out in that nice long cut, but a lot of mine came out in a wonky circle-ish type of shape.  I probably just need more practice with the mandolin.

Ingredients:
2-3 Tbs of Olive Oil or Coconut Oil
2 Green Plantains (one of mine was starting to ripen and it was much harder to slice and took longer to bake)  Apparently you can also use green bananas, but I cannot attest to this.  I have not tried it.
Salt
Optional seasonings- whatever flavors you love on chips.  Some ideas might include garlic powder, onion powder, pepper, cayenne powder.

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees.  (Optional- preheat to 350 and cook longer, I am going to try that next time)  Use a knife to peel your plantain.  Pour oil and seasonings into a bowl and stir a little.  Use a mandolin or a sharp knife to make very thin slices (the thinnest setting is maybe too thin.  It worked, but burnt around the edges easily.  Maybe go one setting up.)  of your plantain on an angle and toss them into the bowl with the oil.  I used my hands to toss then around and then spread them around on a cookie sheet.  I like to cover my sheet with aluminum foil first, but if you have parchment paper that is probably a healthier option.  They do crisp up and stick slightly to the bottom, so it's nice to be able to pull the sheet off the chip instead of trying to scrape the chip off of the pan.  My chips were very thin and only took 8 minutes to be crispy.  Some of the thicker ones and the ones in the very middle had to go back in for about 3 minutes.  At 400 degrees you need to keep checking on them, because you want to catch them when they are brown on the edges, but not turning black yet.  At 350 Martha says to cook them for 30-35 minutes, but I would check on your first batch often to see what the timing in your oven would be.  In my oven, at 350 my chips would be burnt at 30 minutes.  

And voila!  You now have an crunchy vehicle for your favorite Superbowl paleo dips, like this Mango Salsa, this Ranch Dressing or this Tuna Dip.  Enjoy the game!!

A Wedding, A Baby and a Bonfire, Part II

The Bride

The Shoes

Day 4, Wedding.  We woke up early on Friday to get our nails did with the wedding party.  I got a mani-pedi and the ladies were quite aggressive with my nails.  Two of my nails suffered cuts, but what is the price of beauty?  My nails looked fabulous.
Andrea and I then trekked to the grocery store to pick out snacks while I shivered in the freezing cold 50 degree air.  At Arin and Andrea's place I set up to create peacock feather boutonnières for the men in the family and Anna went out to correct our mismanagement of our hotel situation.  There was some tears and cursing involved but it all worked out in the end.

Arin and Dad

Arin and I set the traps for the squirrels that are taking up residence in her attic, and actually caught one!  So two hours before her wedding Arin and I covered the live trap with a towel, drove it to the park down the road and set it free in front of a wedding party and a very surprised bus driver.  This was a very productive day.
Arin and Andrea took naps, Anna and I left for the hotel to get our dresses on and returned to the house.  We got whisked away by somebody's brother and got to the venue to set up and get pretty.  It was so much fun!  We have almost no pictures from setting up and the wedding.  We drank champagne, put on makeup, did our hair and helped Arin into her dress.  I helped the photographer set up for some pics of the dress and shoes.  Andrea was in a separate room being forced into makeup.  It was pretty exciting.  When the family showed up I brought Maka, Andrea's nephew up to get his boutonniere and he was really stoked about it.  Then I brought Andrew, Alec and Dad up to get theirs.  I'm pretty sure the photographer got some good pictures of that too.

Best Wedding Ceremony Ever

Soon after one of the best wedding ceremonies I've ever witnessed began.  Family and friends all moved to the floor in front of the stage.  The lights all dimmed and on the balcony the spotlight lit up on Andrea.  The Muppets "Somebody's Getting Married" started playing and Arin met Andrea in the spotlight.  The photographer ninja rolled out of a doorway behind for a picture of the couple and then they came down to the dance floor.  Hugs were given on their way to the stage.
Marge, the officiant gave one of the best speeches I've ever heard and it was obvious that she knew the couple very well.  Wedding vows were exchanged and they were also well thought out.  I don't cry much at weddings, but I cried at this one.  It was pretty beautiful.
When all was said and done, marriage happened and then the dancing ensued.  Holy mackerel, there's not too much video of that and it's a crying shame.  There was a lot of fist pumping, foot stomping and pointing involved.  One of my best nights ever.  I laughed so hard I was crying many times that night.  We danced until they kicked us out then tried to have an after party at the Foley's place.  We attempted to bring it to the next level, but that mostly involved going back to the hotel to sleep.
Day 5, The next morning those of us who stayed in the Microtel snuck over to the Embassy where the others were holed up.  We indulged in an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet and then headed back to the venue to help clean up.  We packed up Vandalf and another unnamed vehicle, and returned everything then went back to Arin's for a full day of relaxation.  Andrew and his girlfriend Emily had to leave, but Alec, Anna, Dad and I decided to stay over one more night, since we were having such a great time and the newlyweds made the mistake of not kicking us out yet.

Indian Orgy on the Sorry Board

That night we made hot chocolate and sat around the firepit in their backyard.  A decision was made to have an epic battle on the Sorry board.  With 8 players on one board it becomes Super Sorry, where "only 7 may enter!!"  We played til the wee hours and Alec won.
Day 6, Baby!  Elisheva Sarah was born at 6am!  We got a text from Angela that she had a baby, although at that time it had yet to be named.  (We just called her Betty.)  There was some more dancing.  We had pancakes and coffee, sat around and tried to catch more squirrels, but in the end we had to face the fact that Andrea was done with us and we had to head back to New York.  Into the car we piled after dragging Anna out of the house with us.  We left behind the very happy couple who would be headed off to New Orleans in just a few days.
Upon our return home it wasn't great, in that, it sucked pretty bad.  We stopped at the supermarked to get ingredients for Kebabs, grilled them up and waited for Mom to get home.  She did and mumbled a bit under her breath and then we escaped to bed.
Overall it was totally worth it.  What a fantastic weekend.  And this was just the first of my expeditions for the vacation! In the next installment of A Wedding, A Baby and a Bonfire, I'll tell you all about my hike to Overlook, some log rolling and then a trip to Boston!

I'm Leaving On a Jet Plane!

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go
- John Denver



So, I'm headed to the East Coast tonight! My plane leaves at 7:25 my time and arrives at 10am your time. I'm going to do my best to sleep on the plane so I'm not exhausted when I get there. I've got lots of plans and I'm going to do my best not to get sick, lose my voice, get really bad headaches or cramps. I'm not sure how my hair is going to deal with the cold, dry weather, but it should be interesting to say the least. I'm excited for pedicures, dresses, makeup and dancing. I've been listening to my Miss Saigon CD to prepare for the trip. It's being imported to my Ipod as we speak. I think I've got everything packed that I need, and still am only taking a carry-on bag. Pretty awesome. I'm a simple person. Plus if I really need to I'll buy a pair of jeans or something. We all know you can wear jeans every day for 2 weeks, no problem.

In the meantime I'm doing my best not to gain 20 pounds. The bread from that damn store smells soooo good. I hate delicious bread bakers. They make me fat. Damn their soft, yeasty dough and their blueberry and white chocolate chip pieces. And damn them for baking it just the way I like it, just slightly under cooked at the corners, so you get that little bite of chewy goodness at the end. Le sigh. Life is so hard. Honestly, I'm most worried about my stomach on the plane. My body is not used to this level of white flour and my stomach has been, well, ah hem. Not good. Need to find a snack that I can bring with me and try to avoid being triple bloated when I board.

Love all you East Coasters, hopefully I'll get a chance to see you in a few days!!