Eating Healthy is the First to Go

So I have been having a really hard time the past few days.  It doesn't matter that I'm going back East to have a fabulously fun time, it's always stressful to get ready for a long vacation.  Especially since Nathan isn't going with me.  I'm not packed yet.  I just bought dresses for the wedding.  I'm finishing my paperwork here at work and there is way more than I'd like to admit to get done here still.  When I get stressed I get hypersensitive.  So when my friends came to help me find dresses at Ross yesterday instead of being able to enjoy the time, although it did end up being quite fruitful, I was snippy and grumpy.  When I get stressed I want everyone to just go away so I can sit by myself and pull myself back together.  But I can't do that right now.  I left myself too much to do, and Nathan's mother is visiting from New York.  I may head off to the library or something before I head home so I can just have a moment or two of alone time.  I don't need much.  But I haven't been by myself in a while.  I need that.  Of course tomorrow evening I'm going to get plenty of alone time.  I'm going to be sitting by myself in the airport for two hours and then flying by myself for 11 more.  After that I'm not sure if I'm going to have any time to relax, I think pretty much from when I land I'm going to be all over the place, trying to fit a bazillion things into two weeks of vacation time.
I hate to admit it, but my eating has been shit.  I have been stuffing bread down my throat and drinking wine at night.  On Saturday we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center, which was pretty great.  The shows were good at each island "station" and then we did a buffet dinner and "Ha, Breath of Life" the show.  So in the morning I ate well, my eggs as usual, but then we got to PCC and the only semi-foodlike thing to eat was chili nachos or a chili hot dog.  So I just ate the chili hot dog and enjoyed it.  I also had some shave ice, which is a tooooon of sugar.  Then, of course, the buffet was painfully bad for me.  I did my best in the beginning to line my plate with the prime rib, the crab legs, the eggplant, the fish and chicken.  There were also lots of sauted vegetables.  The thing is that most of the meat was breaded and fried and the sauces were all full of sugar.  And that just sends me into a tailspin.  This ended with 2 slices of oreo cheesecake among other tasty desserts.  Keep in mind, the food was DELICIOUS.  Then yesterday, breakfast and lunch were good, but dinner was sloppy joes with this delicious bread from this fabulous bread store down the street.  How am I going to argue when someone else is cooking for me?  My motivation and self-control have been non-existent.  At least I went hiking yesterday.
Anyway, those are my complaints.  All in all, not so bad.  I've got a pretty great life.  It just sometimes feels overwhelming, even though eating a great deal of food is not really a problem in many people's books.  I am lucky and grateful that I have my mother-in-law out here buying us food and cooking for us.

The good news is I got two fabulous dresses, I've got a list here next to me of all the things I need to pack so when I go home it shouldn't take too long and my Ipod is full of good music and two audio books.  I don't know what movies are going to be happening on the plane, but hopefully I can sleep through them and be ready to rock and roll when I get to New Jersey Wednesday morning.  I will be in charge of making food for myself in the next few weeks and I am going to be very selective about what I buy.  Lots of bacon, hopefully.