New Year's Health Goals

It's been a while since I've written on the Life, Health, and Food blog, since I've been on a bit of a spiritual hiatus.  I had completed a paleo challenge with the Crossfit Oahu team, this time called "Natural November."  I did great and once again was looking pretty fit at the end.  When the challenge was over I repeated my same cycle of eating massive amounts of "non-paleo" foods- especially anything with wheat and sugar (cookies, bread, crackers), alcohol and some fried foods.  I've gone through this many times and blogged about it before.  I have no definitive answers.  All I know is that every time I complete a challenge I "fall off the wagon" but every time it is not as destructive to my body.  Since I've been doing the spiritual thing I thought to myself that I would just ride this out and see what happened.  To just really go for it, to listen to my body and try to figure out what I really wanted and see what came out of that.  I didn't want to stop myself and promise that I would eat "better."  I wanted to wait for something to tell me it was time.  So for much of December I had strange combinations of Oreos, whipped cream and bacon for breakfast, if that's what I was craving.  If I felt like eating a "paleo" dinner, I would.  If I felt like potato chips for dinner, I'd go for it.  And if I wanted the entire bag of potato chips in one sitting, then I let go and ate them.  And for some reason, I never felt guilty.  The whole month of December I listened to my body.  I had a couple of evenings where I had some cravings and I walked to Safeway with the express purpose of finding what it was that would fill that craving.  I wandered all the aisles and I decided nothing was off limits.  Was it pickles? Was it cookies? Was it pretzels? Was it cookie dough? Anybody following me around would think I was crazy.  People go to the grocery store with lists!  I just wandered.  I'd pick something up and put it in my basket, but I might get to another aisle and decide that no, this chocolate bar would be better.  I stopped stuffing down the craving beast and let it out into the open.  I talked to it.  I listened.  Sometimes we had a miscommunication.  Turns out the cookie dough was not ever really the answer.  One time I picked just the right donut and enjoyed every single bite.  One evening it was pretzels and Guinness.  It was really fun to explore this feeling.  I've written a little about this before, too.  Do I want something crunchy?  Something sweet?  Something fatty or fried?  While I wandered around the store I had time to really pinpoint it.  As the end of December was nearing I began to have moments where I doubted myself.  I thought I would have to do another challenge or set some restrictive goals- goodbye bread and alcohol.  As I was washing dishes one day I thought, "Okay, tomorrow I will go back to eating healthy."  And it was strange.  I've gotten so used to questioning my thoughts and beliefs and this time, I didn't believe myself.  I was saying it, but it was untrue.  So I took it back.  I told myself I would not make a commitment or goal about restricting something from my diet until I could feel it was time.  A couple more times I had the thought that I was ready, but it wasn't true.  Then for some reason on December 18 in the bright and early pre-dawn hours I woke up and thought, "Okay, I'm ready."  And it was true.  It was a release.  I didn't have to stuff my face with sweets, but I didn't have to restrict myself completely anymore.  And still, I waited for the New Year to start eating better.  I wanted to make sure.  And for the rest of the month, I felt like I was saying goodbye.  Farewell, Guinness.  Farewell, wine.  Farewell, bagels.
For 2013, I'm not going to drink.  I am not completely restricting myself, if there is an important social gathering I'm not saying I'm "not allowed."  But I don't think I will.  I am also going to continue to listen to my body to tell me what I want to eat.  But it won't be the same things that I wanted before.  I am going to continue to ask myself if my next action will lead me to feeling one of my Core Desired Feelings: Powerful, Energized, Connected, Clear and Free.
As for fitness I have a few goals, they include being able to do 5 handstand pushups, being able to lift 65 pounds for my overhead squat.  To be able to do 5 muscle-ups, and increasing my mobility.  I would love to be able to do a split.  I'm so inflexible.
My other resolution for the year is that I intend to be more authentic every moment of every day.
What are your resolutions for this year?

Post-Challenge Health

It's been 12 days since the Crossfit Oahu Nutrition challenge ended.  I am feeling pretty darn good.  I think I wrote earlier that my new challenge is to allow for three treats a week, so I don't have to be so strict.  Funny thing is, I haven't really wanted anything.  It was nice to be able to have a taste of Nathan's cheese cake last weekend, but I didn't go overboard, wanting the whole thing.  On Thursday I had a square of super dark chocolate that I have been saving for myself for after the challenge.  I was concerned about being able to only have some, although, if I had eaten it all I wouldn't have beaten myself up about it.  But I didn't want more.  I am enjoying feeling healthy, and feeling thin and strong at the same time.  I am enjoying seeing the muscles that have always been in there.  But that's not why I haven't been snacking on junk.  I just don't want it.  We've got tons of stuff in our house.  Nathan has stores of chips and granola bars and pudding and cookies and juice and bread.  I just don't feel like it.  I stopped for a second there, while I was writing, to double check if this is still true.  I envisioned myself eating bread with butter.  Not interested.  I've got a roasted chicken that sounds way more appetizing.  I also hit up the Whole Foods dried fruit section the other day and got tons of good stuff.  I know that many websites say don't eat too much fruit.  I say, do what works for you.  It has lots of sugar in it, yes.  I usually eat fruit with nuts, and then I don't feel like eating for a while.  I eat a well rounded range of food.  

Today, I'm sewing workout gear.  I'm pretty excited about how easy it is.  Turns out once you have a pretty decent pattern for a tank top or shirt, you can whip out a whole bunch of stuff with the right material.  Jersey's great because you don't have to finish the edges, it won't fray.  The shirt I'm wearing in the picture is one of the tanks I just made.  It was the first version, so very unfinished edges.  But I don't care, I'm wearing it to sew.  The more recent ones are pretty great.

Crossfit Oahu Nutrition Challenge

Left side: 2006, Top 3: April 2012- pre-challenge, Bottom 3: May 2012- post-challenge

So I realize I haven't blogged in a really long time.  Work got really stressful and I was just trying to enjoy all my other time.  Since I last blogged Anna left and that is really, really sad.  While she was here I did so much fun stuff.  I had more fun packed into a couple of months this year than I've had in years.  She convinced me to do a lot of stuff.  It reminded me that life is short and you only live once.  Just some of the stuff we did:  Hiked everywhere, searched for squatch, wore lots of knee socks, crossed lots of fit, did tons of pullups, started our own crossfittish supplemental workouts, ran with a slosh tube, lay on the beach, frolicked everywhere, parkoured, ran a Swamp Romp and a Warrior Dash, drank Guinness, dance, almost hiked the stairway to heaven, got my nose pierced and some of us got tattooed.  There was tons of laughs and late night talks.  I'm suprised we never fought.  And I know there's tons of stuff that I left off of this short list.  It was pretty amazing.  Around the time Anna was leaving I started the Crossfit Oahu Nutrition Challenge.  Normally I don't like to pay money for things, because I'm a cheap ass, but I knew this would be worth it.  I paid 75 bucks to be weighed in and have my body fat tested with a very cool ultrasoundish machine.  We got great advice and feedback from our challenge host, Courtney Johnson.  She also created an amazing spreadsheet that allows you to track points you get for eating at the level you chose, for sleeping enough and for working out.  I know I work with kids and star charts every day, but I'm still amazed at how motivated I was and still am by earning points.  It helped me make hard decisions several times.  I was like, I could eat that, but I'll lose 5 points!  It turns out I'm quite the points whore.  And it wasn't even a challenge where the person with the most points wins.  Each point is a chance to win the pot of money at the end. Either way, I was very motivated.
The other cool thing about the challenge is that it gave me a new way to look at food.  Instead of "that's not on the list of allowable foods" that you get with most diets, lifestyles, ways of eating, whatever.  Instead it was, here is your priority list.  On the bottom of the list is the junkiest, most bad for you foods and as the levels increased your eating got healthier and healthier.  I decided not to cut out sweet potatoes and squash, so I was at a level 7.  I could have tried to be more strict, but I wanted to spend the 45 days getting into eating habits that I could follow for life.  Every time I went shopping and considered a meal, I didn't "have" to eliminate anything.  I just chose how healthy I wanted to be at the time.
It was a very succesful challenge for me.  I wasn't eating all that great before the challenge, but my poor eating is still pretty healthy by the Standard American Diet's standards.  Throughout the challenge I lost 13 pounds, and 4 inches off of my waist.  Pretty awesome in 45 days.  Especially since eating paleo, I'm never super hungry.  I never get the high/low blood sugar spikes.  I don't feel like I have to limit how much I eat.  I love the food.  And it makes me feel really strong.  Just saying for all the people who think cutting out grains is hard, well, yeah, it's hard because eating grains is a habit.  It's what we're used to.  But if people didn't try to shove grains in my face all the time, I wouldn't miss them.  The hardest time I have is when well-meaning people make me feel like I don't appreciate them because I won't eat their damn cookies or bread.  I'm amazed how offended people are when I won't taste their food.  But that's another story.
So that's what I've been up to.  Living life, hard.

Busy!

Used these for my pull-ups

So I have been incredibly busy for a while and then last week I kind of shut down a bit.  Work has not given me much breathing room, so I've been going non-stop during the day.  It's been a lot of fun having Anna around, because I've been super active on the days that I'm not working and even sometimes on the days that I am.  Crossfit has been awesome.  I really like the coaches so far, each one has their own style and has different kinds of workouts.  They aren't kidding when they say "Our Warmup is Your Workout."  The warm-up for yesterday's workout was finding the max weight you could lift with a back squat.  I started off way too low, not knowing what I was capable of and ended up doing a ton of reps before I found what was really difficult.  Then we did pushups, pullups and squats to make sure we had the proper form before we even started our workout.  Which was a 25-20-15-10-5 for form instead of time.  So you do 25 pullups with whatever modification you need, in proper form.  If it's not good form it doesn't count.  Then 25 pushups, then 25 squats.  Then 20 pullups, pushups and squats.  Then 15 pullups, pushups and squats and so on and so forth.  I liked this workout, since it was a change from the usual beat the clock.  I wasn't racing anyone or competing with anyone.  I took as much time as I needed in between reps to make sure my next pullup was going to be a good one.  And if I performed badly I took a couple of seconds to recoup and redo.  It took around 20 minutes.  I like that you learn alot about what you are capable of and what you need to work on.  I find myself getting stronger very quickly.  As Keysa, Anna and I agreed yesterday, it also doesn't hurt to have such eye candy available during your workouts.  Co-ed workouts are great, just sayin'.
As for the paleo challenge, yesterday was technically my last day.  Over the weekend though, I had kind of a depression breakdown, I didn't want to do anything and I just had this strong craving for something and I couldn't figure out what it was.  On Sunday Nathan wanted Zippy's and I got dinner there.  Of course, it was not paleo in the least.  There is no paleo at Zippy's.  It was an interesting experiment.  I had some french fries, and that did not satisfy the craving.  I had some of a bear claw and that did not satisfy the craving.  I am glad that I did the experiment as a "cheat" during my challenge.  It turns out that all of those snacks that I would seek out to satisfy that craving, didn't satisfy at all.  So I stopped eating them.  Back to better eating on Monday.  I did this challenge in my own way without guilt, so like I said in earlier posts, it was not a perfect "whole30."  I didn't follow all of the rules, I just closely based my eating habits on it.
So in review for this challenge:
I was not a stickler about cheese.  I didn't actively put cheese on my food, but several times we went out to dinner and invariably there would be cheese on the salad.  I would flick some off, but eat the rest.  Dairy has not been a huge issue for me, so I didn't go totally crazy about keeping it off my food.  I did not, however, drink milk or have yogurt or kefir.  I think I'm going to add back kefir at times now that I'm done with the challenge.
I kept bread out totally.  This is the main one that I want to keep doing.  With every other food in the world I seem to be able to regulate.  Bread is my kryptonite.  As for the rest of grains, I'll leave out rice for the most part, noodles totally.  Other grains like quinoa, granola, oatmeal- in moderation as a special treat.  Definitely not a daily addition.
Soy I'm done with.  I was never a fan of it in the first place, so there's no reason for me to reintroduce.  I will not be an asshole if someone offers me something to eat if it is soy based, but I'm definitely going to steer clear if I'm not making anyone uncomfortable.
Sugar- I'm going to do my best to stick to high percentage cacao as a replacement for sugary desserts.  Bananas, other fruit and coconut milk are great replacements as well.  There are going to be times that I will be offered sugary treats.  I am going to turn them down as a general rule.  There may be times like this weekend where I may need some chocolate.  Again, I'm going to do my best to use the better options and steer clear of things like snickers or peanut butter cups.
Alcohol.  This was hard for me during the challenge, which tells me something about my relationship with alcohol.  It's something for me to think about for sure.  A glass of wine with dinner or after is no big deal, but I need to get clear about what the strong cravings were about.  I need to get better at coping with boredom or loneliness/sadness with something other than food/drink.  I was surprised that there were times that I almost panicked.  I wrote about the day I gave in and had tequila with coconut water.  It was obvious once I had some that it was not the cure-all I had been looking for.  I never did figure out why I wanted some so badly.  Then last night I had wine- a few glasses with Anna and Keysa.  On the drive to take Keysa home I actually felt naseous.  Obviously had too much.  So I'm gonna keep an eye on this one.  I will continue to report because this is my freaking blog and I can do what I want.

So back on track

My Muscles are Gonna Be Huge

Thank God for the paleo challenge I'm doing again.  And thank God Keysa is doing it with me.  I was just reading through my blog posts from 2011.  I was doing fantastic at the beginning of the year, and stayed on track until about July.  Then I started to really veer off of the healthy eating.  I wonder if it is because Tae Kwon Do was not challenging enough.  Either way I gained weight, and then started eating horribly, starting with the HalloWine at the YMCA.  Then straight through December and the end of 2011.  It's pretty awesome how quickly it happens.  2012 has again been a great start.  Crossfit has been fun, although some of the Group Elements classes have been extraordinarily boring.  I think I've mentioned that before.  It's cool though, because now we know what the hell they're talking about when they set forth the workout and I don't feel like a complete idiot.  The other day we did Cindy, I did 13 rounds.  I had a lot of modifications, but I'm okay with it.  I know that TKD allowed me to get really weak.  It's no excuse, I'm just not the type to keep up with workouts on my own.  If we didn't do pushups or cardio during a class, I certainly wasn't going to do it on my own.  So my Cindy was pretty weak, but I have something to work towards now.  At some point I'd like to be able to do a straight dead hang pullup.  Maybe even a few in a row!  I want to be strong like I used to be.  It would be a lot of fun to be able to pull myself up the pullup cage or up the rings ropes or up the regular old ropes and just fucking climb all around.  That's right, like a freaking monkey.  That's my goal for the next few months.  Sweet abs would be great while I'm at it, but being able to climb like a monkey is a-number-one priority.

Not Like This One

Like This Monkey

I Discovered My Limit

Because Anna and I put off our Whole 30 paleo challenge until New Years, I have been eating horribly.  I have been choosing to stuff my face with anything that might possible be considered delicious.  Cookies, beer, chocolate, donuts, french fries, hamburgers, won tons, you name it.  Yesterday I woke up feeling like crap (surprise!).  I went to work and ate my breakfast a little late, my eggs with bacon.  Then probably an hour later I was bored so I ate the leftover half Kim Chee Burger from Big City Diner.  Then I ate the banana I brought.  Then I had the piece of candy that was in my lunch box.  At about 11:30 I got the reminder text that we were having a work meeting at the Golden Lion Chinese Restaurant at 12:30, which I had totally forgotten about.  So I left the school to meet my coworkers and have my second lunch.  I ate a whole bunch of Won Ton Mein.  I saved some of it for later, but ate that immediately upon my return home.  Then I had some chocolate.  And some more chocolate.

Second Lunch Eaten Here

This is how I felt

Luckily I had planned on going to Crossfit at 7pm, so that gave me a reason to stop stuffing my face.  I made some meat and rice stirfry for Nathan and then Keysa and I walked to the box.  My stomach hurt sooo bad.  I told her that I think I had reached my actual physical limit for food consumption and that any more and I might have exploded.  It effected how I worked out.  It made me slow and uncoordinated due to the discomfort.  So I decided last night that I will not be eating like that anymore.  It was truly awful.  I'm not sure exactly why I felt the need to eat so much.  It's strange. 

Pan Fried Brussel Sprouts with Bacon and Parmesan Cheese

The finished product with a side of steak, Yummy!

My brussel sprouts recipe.  I love these and I've always wanted to give the run through on how to make them.

For this recipe you need:

Brussel sprouts- about 30

Anaheim pepper (can substitute any kind of pepper depending on what kind of spice you enjoy)

Bacon

Balsamic Vinegar

Parmesian Cheese

Large pan with lid.

Optional:

Garlic

Onion

Mushrooms

Dog

Pepper in Little Itty Bitty Pieces

Pepper

 First things first, cut up your veggies.  I only had a pepper, garlic and some brussel sprouts this time around.  When I make them I tend to get too excited and I get the pan hot before I'm ready with all the veggies.  That's what I did today.  Best idea is to cut all your veggies and have them ready. So, I cut up the the pepper first.  I cut the top off, cut it in half, then scooped out all of the seeds and the flesh.  That's where all the heat lies.  I was afraid that it was going to be too hot.  After tasting at the end I realized that I should have left some of the insides in for a little more heat.  But, we like it hot, if you don't, scoop it all out.  I proceeded to cut it up into little pieces.  Put it off to the side for later. 

Sprouts Ready for Cutting

Cut the end off

 Now for the brussel sprouts.  Get 'em ready.  Here's one on the left, in all of its ready to be cut and prepped glory.  Then cut off the end, where all of the leaves meet.  See what I mean in the picture to the right.  Try not to cut too high, you want the inside leaves to stay together.  If this is your first go, you'll probably want to cut a little bit off, then cut more off if you still need to.  The worst is when you cut off too much and the whole damn thing falls apart.

Pull off Outer Leaves

Cut into Quarters

Next, pull off the outside leaves.  I keep going until I am satisfied that all the leaves that have been exposed to the air are gone.  Sometimes you see brown spots.  I keep going until all of that stuff is gone.  You end up with much less brussel sprout than you started off with.  Discard the outside leaves.  As far as I know, they're no good.  Leave a comment below if you know differently.
After you are satisfied with your brussel size and color.  Now cut them into quarters.  I find that this is the best size for this particular recipe.

Garlic with Skin On

Squish it Hard

 Next, the garlic.  Here they are.  I used two, but if you want to have a stronger garlic flavor, go for more. The garlic flavor was not very noticeable with just the two, you get just a hint.

I first squish the garlic with my favorite big knife to loosen the skin on the outside.  It makes it easier to mess around with them.
Then I cut off the top where the clove was connected to the rest of the plant.

Garlic

Garlic.  In Pieces.

 I don't have a picture of it, but I assume you can figure this part out on  your own.  There is a skin on your garlic clove that is loose after squishing it.  Pull that off now.  Then cut it into small pieces.

Raw Bacon in Pan

Okay, so now you're ready for the cooking part.  If you're a really quick veggie chopper you can do this step earlier, but if you're new to this, (or if you have been drinking) do all your veggies first before putting your bacon in the pan.  I usually put the bacon in a cool pan, then turn it to medium.
There's only two slices of bacon in the pan in the picture, but I would go for three or even up to five.  Honestly, the more bacon the better.  If you don't need any bacon for breakfast in the morning, go ahead and put in the whole package.  When the bacon is mostly cooked to your liking, pull it out and leave just enough bacon grease in the pan to saute your veggies in.  That's only a few tablespoons.  If you've taken my advice and put in the whole package of bacon, pour your bacon grease into a small cup and put it in the fridge and cook your eggs in there in the morning.  Yum!

Keep a dog in the Kitchen.

Go ahead and throw in your brussel sprouts and your hot peppers.  **Careful!! It will sizzle at you!!  Make sure when you put them in, your face is nowhere near your pan.  My advice is to wield the lid of your pan like a medieval shield and throw your veggies in gently while covering your face.  I do not have a picture of this.**

Grate the cheese!

If you have decided to put anything else in there that might want to cook longer, like carrots, you'll want to add those now, too.  This is when my dog, Gizmo, usually rushes into the kitchen, because he smells the bacon cooking.  He stands next to the stove and licks the floor where any of the grease has escaped.  Cover your pan and set your timer for 3 minutes.  While you wait you can cut up your bacon into smaller chunks.  Don't worry, the bacon will go back in later.  This is also a good time to start slicing and dicing your Parmesan cheese.  Have your balsamic vinegar nearby.

Balsamic Vinegar

Bacon in Yummy Pieces

When your timer goes off, either do that fancy thing that chefs do: with the lid on whip your pan through the air and flip over your brussel sprouts.  If you don't know how to do this and are not ready to try, just get a spatula, open the lid and flip everything over.  Toss in anything that you just want to cook a little bit.  In this case, the garlic and the bacon.  Close the lid and set the timer for another 2-3 minutes.

Cheese on veggies.

Add Bacon

When the timer goes off again, open the lid, move stuff around, put the heat on low and then pour the balsamic vinegar into the pan.  This is called deglazing your pan.  You have now just learned an awesome word.  Go show off to your friends.  I don't know how much vinegar.  Maybe two tablespoons?  I just pour enough that it goes all over my goodies, and also covers the entire pan bottom.  Again, keep your face away from the pan, this time because the vinegar will release it's vinegar vapors into the air and although I love the taste of vinegar, it is horrible when a whole boatload of the steam it releases goes directly into your nostrils.  Leave this for a minute, and give your doggie pieces of cheese as you wait.  Then add the Parmesan cheese.  I pushed all the veggies to the side of my pan so I could concentrate the cheese on the veggies.  Cover your pan and leave it be.  Peak at it until your cheese is perfectly melted.  You are done and can now eat your delicious dish!

Cheese is Melted, Yum!

I added some Cheddar on one Side at the End

Scrape it out with Spatula and Serve

Put all Pots and Pans in the Sink and Wait for Someone Else to do Them

Add Meat to Your Plate.  Meat is Delicious.

Another Paleo Challenge

Anna and I officially started our Whole 30 challenge yesterday.  The plan was to start on Friday, I was all set, and then got to my training at a Waikiki Beach Hotel in Waikiki.  All was going well, I ate my eggs and went to lunch with some coworkers.  Unfortunately, even though I ordered my burger with no bun, there was no getting away from all of the fried stuff.  I just texted Anna that we would start the next day instead.  To me it's a relief to be back on a "challenge."  I have poor impulse control, so when the brownies are sitting on the counter, I eat one.  Sometimes two.  And sometimes I have a difficult time stopping myself from eating way more than is socially acceptable.  With paleo I always start off wanting to snack a bunch, but I actually remember the healthy snacks that I have available.

View of Waimanalo from the Pillboxes

Yesterday started off fine, Anna made some bacon and eggs.  I went off to hike the Pillboxes with Keysa and Ananda and while I was gone she left for work.  She only took two bananas and two eggs, so I went to the store and got her some roast, some salad, cashews and coconut water.  It was nice to bring her her lunch at work.  We talked for a little bit at the bar, had some cashews,  and I headed home for my own lunch.  I'll definitely stop by there again one of these days when she's working there.  Bars are so different when they are empty during the day.  I had ahi tuna for lunch when I got home.
Dinner was steak, okinawan sweet potato and asparagus.  I am a damn good cook sometimes.  It was really tasty.  It was also a big dinner, so I didn't feel like I needed to snack on anything during the usual "dessert" time of the night.  We watched TV and made plans to run the beach and watch the sunrise.  Well, she's been working hard and hopefully she's finally having a good night's sleep.  It's 7am and she's not up yet.  Surprisingly, the sound of the dogs and I moving around out here didn't wake her up.  Hopefully she's still passed out pretty good.  There will be other mornings for sunrise beach walks.
I love this kind of morning.  I've got Gizmo on my lap, and Titus is on the couch all cozy, but keeping his eye on me.  I can hear the birds chirping outside, the usual air conditioner noise from the bedrooms and our neighbors, and the fishtank gurgling away.  Not too shabby.  I'm gonna make some coffee, then I haven't decided yet whether I will turn on the TV, read, or write in my journal.  I think I will just relax and take this day as it unfolds.

Fattening Up and Gluten Loading

So Anna and I have decided that our official date to start our Whole 30 Paleo Challenge will be December 16th.  I will get paid on the 15th, so I can start to replenish the cabinets, fridge and freezer with good for me treats.  Also on this day we shall take before pics so you can be enthralled by our transformations.  To plan I am printing up some Paleo food posters for the fridge and only buying paleo (except for Kefir and Yogurt, I need my good bacteria and can't afford the supplements) from now until the end of the challenge.  In preparation I am eating as much glutenous, sugary, processed food and beer as I can fit down my throat and into my bloated belly.
The plan this time is not to finish the whole 30 with a sugar buffet, but this time to stick with it within reason.  I plan on being super strong and fit for the Warrior Dash in March, so that is my goal.  I am hoping too that Crossfit and Paleo will help me get my knee back in shape in time to run the Great Aloha Run.
Yesterday I had the best time ever, being a part of Keysa Hale's Marathon Pit Crew.  She has been training for months to prepare to run the Honolulu Marathon and only asked that we meet her at some point to hand her some coconut water and grapes.  Instead we created an elaborate plan to meet her at mile 17, hand her the goods, and then run with her relay style until the finish.  I took the first 3 miles.  We chatted about her weekend from mile 17 to 20.  It was awesome running in the marathon.  I got to experience all of the cheering and hullabaloo without actually putting in too much effort.  I did my best to stay out of everyone's way and to enhance Keysa's marathon experience.  At mile 20 I bowed out, called the crew driving nearby and hopped into the car at a bus stop.  We kept driving and when we spotted her and her friend again, Anna jumped out and joined her.  Then Joanna, Ananda and I found them at mile 24 and Ananda and Anna finished the last two miles with her before leaving the track near the finish.  Keysa finished on her own and we celebrated with pictures, oatmeal cookies, and the pool at her hotel.  It was so much fun.  It made Anna and Ananda want to train for a marathon.  It solidified my knowledge that I do not ever want to run 26.2 miles.  I still like shorter distances.

Eating Healthy is the First to Go

So I have been having a really hard time the past few days.  It doesn't matter that I'm going back East to have a fabulously fun time, it's always stressful to get ready for a long vacation.  Especially since Nathan isn't going with me.  I'm not packed yet.  I just bought dresses for the wedding.  I'm finishing my paperwork here at work and there is way more than I'd like to admit to get done here still.  When I get stressed I get hypersensitive.  So when my friends came to help me find dresses at Ross yesterday instead of being able to enjoy the time, although it did end up being quite fruitful, I was snippy and grumpy.  When I get stressed I want everyone to just go away so I can sit by myself and pull myself back together.  But I can't do that right now.  I left myself too much to do, and Nathan's mother is visiting from New York.  I may head off to the library or something before I head home so I can just have a moment or two of alone time.  I don't need much.  But I haven't been by myself in a while.  I need that.  Of course tomorrow evening I'm going to get plenty of alone time.  I'm going to be sitting by myself in the airport for two hours and then flying by myself for 11 more.  After that I'm not sure if I'm going to have any time to relax, I think pretty much from when I land I'm going to be all over the place, trying to fit a bazillion things into two weeks of vacation time.
I hate to admit it, but my eating has been shit.  I have been stuffing bread down my throat and drinking wine at night.  On Saturday we went to the Polynesian Cultural Center, which was pretty great.  The shows were good at each island "station" and then we did a buffet dinner and "Ha, Breath of Life" the show.  So in the morning I ate well, my eggs as usual, but then we got to PCC and the only semi-foodlike thing to eat was chili nachos or a chili hot dog.  So I just ate the chili hot dog and enjoyed it.  I also had some shave ice, which is a tooooon of sugar.  Then, of course, the buffet was painfully bad for me.  I did my best in the beginning to line my plate with the prime rib, the crab legs, the eggplant, the fish and chicken.  There were also lots of sauted vegetables.  The thing is that most of the meat was breaded and fried and the sauces were all full of sugar.  And that just sends me into a tailspin.  This ended with 2 slices of oreo cheesecake among other tasty desserts.  Keep in mind, the food was DELICIOUS.  Then yesterday, breakfast and lunch were good, but dinner was sloppy joes with this delicious bread from this fabulous bread store down the street.  How am I going to argue when someone else is cooking for me?  My motivation and self-control have been non-existent.  At least I went hiking yesterday.
Anyway, those are my complaints.  All in all, not so bad.  I've got a pretty great life.  It just sometimes feels overwhelming, even though eating a great deal of food is not really a problem in many people's books.  I am lucky and grateful that I have my mother-in-law out here buying us food and cooking for us.

The good news is I got two fabulous dresses, I've got a list here next to me of all the things I need to pack so when I go home it shouldn't take too long and my Ipod is full of good music and two audio books.  I don't know what movies are going to be happening on the plane, but hopefully I can sleep through them and be ready to rock and roll when I get to New Jersey Wednesday morning.  I will be in charge of making food for myself in the next few weeks and I am going to be very selective about what I buy.  Lots of bacon, hopefully.